A Glorious Purging

Yesterday, a friend said that people should stop confessing the sins of others. I thought it was kind of clever and while I agree that we should all focus most of our attention on our own sins, there are times when the misconduct of others should be called out and publicly condemned. Collectively, we have a responsibility to protect the vulnerable and the powerless. Culturally, we have a responsibility to demand moral behavior and to elect people of good character.

We're seeing an example of the value of public confessing play out in the news today. It isn't pretty. It isn't pleasant to hear. Some say that we are witnessing a cultural shift and I hope it is true. As a fifty-four year old woman, I say, it's about time.

Every day, another woman comes forward to confess, it happened to me too, and she publicly identifies the man who did it. Since the beginning of time, sexual assault, unwanted advances, and other forms of sexual misconduct have been swept under the rug. Boys will be boys. It's just locker room talk. She asked for it. Powerful men get their attorneys to pay off their accusers and no one knows. Their status and reputation remain intact. A judge slaps a young rapist on the wrist because he doesn't want to ruin his life; never mind the fact that he ruined hers. 

I think of this particular confessing of the sins of others as a glorious purging. The public purging is necessary to rid our culture of deeply ingrained behaviors and attitudes that denigrate and harm women. Purging is the airing of dirty laundry. It's  messy and nasty. It's embarrassing and potentially costly for the accused. And while it might seem better, at least for the accused, to not name names, putting a face to the story humanizes it. By listening to personal stories, we give a measure of dignity to the victims.

All women are empowered when a few women have the courage to come forward - that's the glorious part. Instead of being the usual he said/she said, it's he said/she said to the 14th power. Collectively women are saying, we have had enough. We deserve to be treated with dignity and respect. That's glorious.