Self Affirmation: Fearfully and Wonderfully Made

Some of my friends enjoy answering quizzes on Facebook with titles like Which Dwarf Are You? Or What’s Your Name’s Hidden Meaning? These quizzes are entertaining even if you realize they are not scientific and don’t provide meaningful information about you – except perhaps, to advertisers. But on a deeper level, I think we are tempted to answer them because we seek self-affirmation: the recognition and assertion of the existence and value of one’s individual self. That’s a fancy way of saying that we want to affirm that we are normal, even interesting.

I have always had an interest in personality questionnaires, probably because I have struggled with self-esteem issues and want to recognize and appreciate what is unique about me. Several years ago while taking an MBA course, I read  Please Understand Me II, by David Keirsey. I completed the personality test or “temperament sorter,” and discovered that I am an ISTJ, the Guardian Inspector personality.

The book went into great detail describing the vocational interests and other characteristics of each personality type. In my own words, this is how it described me:

I am a reserved version of one of society’s gatekeepers, content to be “behind the scenes.” I believe that rules are necessary to protect people and their assets. I am drawn to the world of business and have an interest in investments. I am good with numbers and can make order out of large amounts of data. I must be able to focus on the task at hand so I concentrate and shut out distractions. You won’t often find me chatting at the “water cooler.” I use my attention to detail to scrutinize the records and make sure there are no irregularities or inaccuracies. I have a strong sense of responsibility. I am very dependable and I like to be appreciated.

Outside the workplace, I am a concerned citizen and think a lot about moral and social issues. I trust and respect authority. I am a loyal friend and a loyal helpmate to my spouse. I am quiet, modest, and unassuming. I do not try to draw attention to myself with trendy fashions, fancy speech, or showy gestures. I am cautious, worried about the bad things that might happen. I am thrifty with money and able to defer gratification.

That description sounds kind of stodgy and boring, I know. But for me, it was exciting to learn that my personality type affirms my vocational choices; it affirms my down-to-earth style, my way of communicating and my attitudes about money. It even explains why certain issues occupy my mind.

In seeing such an accurate description of me all wrapped up in a neat little package, I could clearly see the value of my individual self. For too long, I felt like there was something wrong with me because I was introverted. But in reading about the reserved version of every personality type, I came to understand why inwardly focused energy is a good thing for certain purposes in this life – for solving complex problems, for putting the brakes on those driven by reckless adrenalin-fueled impulses. I also found a sense of community in knowing that around ten percent of the population shares my personality type – accountants, auditors, attorneys, judges, police officers, librarians, teachers, and doctors - even famous people like George Washington, Dwight Eisenhower, Warren Buffet and Matt Damon.

I cannot say that everything I learned about my personality is good. Keirsey says that Guardians are “preoccupied with morality,” as other types are preoccupied with other issues, like morale or technology. We believe that morality is so important that we can be obsessed with what people should or should not do. So while we fulfill an important role in maintaining social order, we can be too rigid and judgmental. This has been a spiritual struggle for me. Judge not, lest ye be judged!

Keirsey also said, “They [Inspectors] can be adamant about the need for rule-compliance in the workplace, and do not hesitate to report irregularities to the proper authorities. Because of this they are often misjudged as having ice in their veins, for people fail to see their good intentions and their vulnerability to criticism.” This is true. Through a very trying experience at my old job, I learned that my trust in authority was misplaced. Not all managers will enforce the rules or hold employees accountable for their job performance. This was very stressful to my sense of order and rightness. I became cold and disapproving toward the slackers. It is not in the Guardian nature to make someone feel good about doing a crappy job (as one of my Guardian friends put it)!

Guardians also tend to be pessimistic about the future, even if we don’t admit it readily. As Keirsey noted, the philosopher Galen called what is now known as the SJ temperament, Melancholics because of this gloomy outlook on life. We expect the worst. We prepare for things to go wrong. I can see this tendency in myself, though I strive to be optimistic. I’ve spent many a sleepless night worrying about what might go wrong or how I’m going to solve a particular problem. But my faith makes me hopeful about the future and praying helps me overcome much of my anxiety. I really do believe that all things work for the good of those who love God, who are called according to his purpose (Romans 8:28).
        Sometimes I am Happy; sometimes I am Grumpy; sometimes I am Bashful. But I am always Sensing, Thinking, Judging. Learning about my personality type, both the good and the bad aspects of it, helped me to not only recognize the value in my individual self, but also to appreciate the value of others. I believe we were each made for a specific purpose. Idealists, for example, are much more nurturing and empathetic than me. In the complexity of personality, I find integrity – a wholeness of design and purpose. We truly are fearfully and wonderfully made!