What Our Words Reveal About Our Personalities

I've noticed that I tend to use idioms to express my feelings. For example, when I felt especially overwhelmed at work, I felt like I was knee deep in alligators. Recently, I heard an investigator on a crime show say "It was a hard nut to swallow." I had a good laugh at this mixed up metaphor (malaphor) as I imagined trying to swallow a walnut in the shell. Not just hard, impossible! Thinking about idioms made me think about my communication style. I remembered reading about this in Please Understand Me II,  so I decided to refresh my memory.

In PUM2, David Keirsey says there are two dimensions to understanding temperament - how we use words and how we use tools. By tools he means anything we use to accomplish our goals. Keirsey built on the work of Isabel Myers, who developed a questionnaire called the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator with her mother Kathryn Briggs. The MBTI identifies sixteen different personality types. Keirsey divides Myers' sixteen types into four groups - Idealists, Guardians, Rationals and Artisans. He illustrates how each group uses words and tools to accomplish their goals but also discusses the intellect, interests, self-image, and values of each temperament.

Understanding the Temperament Types

Our word usage can be described as abstract or concrete. Abstract words describe something that is apart from actual physical substance - emotions, ideas and physical attributes like beauty. Concrete words refer to things that are perceptible to the senses - actual objects or events that you can see or touch. If we have a cooperative nature, we try to get along with other people, to follow the agreed-upon rules, and to consider the wants and needs of others as we do whatever it is we do. If we have a utilitarian nature, on the other hand, we go about things in the most effective way possible - pleasing other people is a secondary consideration.

According to Keirsey, each of the personality types has an intellectual strength in one of four areas - Diplomacy, Logistics, Strategy or Tactics. Idealists have a Diplomatic intellect, which makes them particularly skilled at working with people in a sensitive, tactful way. Idealists are good at professions that involve transmitting ideas through words. Rationals have a Strategic intellect and a talent for identifying the best and most efficient way of achieving their goals; they are especially good at working with systems. Guardians have a Logistical intellect and a talent for acquiring, distributing, servicing and replacing material goods. Guardians are often found in the  business world (like me). Artisans have a Tactical intellect - not tactical in the military sense, but tactical in the sense of touching or manipulating physical objects. Whether it is painting or playing a game, Artisans are especially good at working with tools and equipment.

Understanding Our Communication Styles

In PUM2, the Keirsey listed a full page of "traits" that characterize each personality type. Unfortunately, Keirsey did not define what he means by referential, syntactical and rhetorical, though he gave a few examples throughout the text. I am not a linguistic expert by any means. In the chart below, I excerpted the language characteristics from his chart and added a column with my own interpretation of the labels in the left column. In the sections below the chart, I've summarized some of the communication cues I gleaned from the book. I paid particular attention to introverts because we are  often misunderstood because we are quiet and reserved.

SP (Sensory Perceptive): the Artisan (30-35%)
Artisans have been called the "Sensation Seeking Personality." The language of Artisans is harmonic or pleasing to the ear. Their referential style or mood is indicative, involving factual statements or questions. Their speech is descriptive, showing a preference for similes over metaphors. The language of Artisans is heterodox, that is not orthodox or traditional. Artisans use slang and colorful phrases. Artisans often express themselves through the arts or by creating things. Introverted Artisans may prefer to communicate through action rather than words and may find tools to be the most effective form of self-expression.

SJ (Sensory Judging): the Guardian (40-45%)
Guardians, the largest personality group, are the "Security Seeking Personality." The language of Guardians is associative, moving from topic to topic in a non-linear fashion. Their referential style is imperative, involving commands, directions, or admonitions. They use comparative figures of speech and enjoy using proverbs and idiomatic language. Their language would be considered orthodox or conventional. They avoid fancy speech or showy hand gestures. Introverted Guardians are dedicated and attentive to details, content to work behind the scenes. They are often misjudged as cold or stiff, when they really have good intentions.

NF (iNtuitive Feeling): the Idealist (15-20%)

Idealists have been called the "Identity Seeking Personality." Idealists use inductive language, moving from part to whole or from specifics to broad generalizations. Their referential style or  mood is interpretive and their syntactical style is metaphoric. The language of Idealists is hyperbolic in that they tend to overstate or exaggerate. Idealists often engage in creative writing or poetry, having great language abilities and a gift for imagery. However, they are not big on using logic and do not see things in "if this, then that" terms. Introverted idealists only show their emotional reactions with people they trust. They may be easily hurt because they feel so deeply. To protect themselves, they may withdraw from social contact.

NT (iNtuitive Thinking): the Rational (5-10%)

Rationals, the rarest personality type, are known as the "Knowledge Seeking Personality." Rationals use deductive language, moving from whole to part or from general to specific. Their words are categorical and definitive - everything must be classified and defined correctly. In fact, they may insist on defining words to control shades of meaning. They will even read dictionaries for fun and enjoy word play, like puns and paradoxes. Their language style is characterized as subjunctive or hypothetical, full of assumptions, probabilities and premises. Rationals also use a lot of technical language, reflecting their interest in science and technology. Rationals avoid speaking about things that are irrelevant or trivial and avoid stating the obvious. Rationals will suppress their facial expressions and body language because they like to appear unemotional. Introverted Rationals prefer to stay in the background and have a strong need for privacy. They use this quiet time to solve difficult problems.

My Own Communication Style: the Guardian Inspector (ISTJ)

I'm a hard nut to crack. In speech, the biggest influence on my word choice is my introversion. It is often a very inhibiting influence. I have to think before I speak. I don't like to interrupt people and I am not good at small talk. When I'm talking and more than a couple of people are looking at me, I'm like a deer in the headlights. But when writing, the expressive side of me comes out. I can think as much as I want and take as long as I want. I can jump from topic to topic and go off on a tangent and explore to my heart's content. I clearly have the associative thought process. Writing is a great outlet for me because I can compose my thoughts before I share them. I can even be comfortable sharing my words with people I don't know.