You've shared 3 days in a row. 👍

Lately, Facebook has been encouraging me to post everyday with a message that says, "you've shared # days in a row and your friends are responding." I like Facebook. I'm on it almost everyday. But this notification, instead of encouraging me to post more consistently, instead makes me want to rebel against a business that tracks my behavior to influence it. Especially because I know that Facebook does influence my behavior and morale and not always for the good.

I'm not the only one who thinks Facebook's notifications are out of control. Alex Kantrowitz of Buzzfeed said that Facebook encourages you to feed its feed because if there is no sharing, there is no Facebook. "It only works if you share stuff inside it." I have definitely done my part to make it work. Facebook recently announced that it has 2 billion active users. If Facebook were a religion, it would be the second largest in the world. That's even more reason for me to consider how I'm being influenced, consciously or unconsciously, to feed the beast.

You've shared 3 days in a row.

Facebook wants to be part of my daily routine. Honestly, it already consumes too much of my time. I check Facebook notifications the first thing everyday and read several articles a day on my news feed. It is a distraction - an addictive distraction.

Peter Ormerod wrote an article, Why I'll be giving up Facebook for Lent - again. When he gave up Facebook the first time, he noticed that he did not waste so much time mindlessly scrolling and was not so distracted. He wasn't so consumed with how he appears to other people. He spent more time in quiet reflection. While he acknowledged that there are good things about Facebook, he noted, "it makes a good servant and a bad master."

We don't need to check it as a matter of instinct or reflex. We don't need to live our lives and relationships through it. - Peter Ormerod

I like keeping up with family on Facebook. In fact, I first signed up 10 years ago when my nephew was in the Peace Corps in Uganda. I've gotten to know coworkers and classmates better by following them on Facebook and they in turn learn more about me.

But in scrolling through my news feed, I end up filling my time with a lot of noise. Some of it is disturbing. I see a side to people I would rather not see. If not for FOMO (fear of missing out), I would be spending my spare time reading a book, talking to a loved one on the phone, or spending time in quiet reflection like I am right now.

I don't want to be one of those people who is so concerned with what they might be missing out on on social media that they miss out on connecting with a person who is right there with them in the flesh. I've watched as families sit in a restaurant, all intently staring at their phones, missing an opportunity to talk to each other. My husband occasionally complains about me being on Facebook. He doesn't like it if I look at the phone when we are out to dinner. I get it. It's inconsiderate of me.

Having said all that, I like sharing on Facebook and because I like sharing on Facebook, I'm likely to do it whether or not Facebook gives me a big thumbs up for doing it. As an introvert, it is much easier for me to communicate by writing because I need time to process an compose my thoughts. I also find it easier to share when people aren't looking at me. And I ❤ nature so naturally, I ❤ to share nature photos.

When Facebook congratulates me for sharing, it's kind of like getting a trophy just for participating. It says nothing about the quality of my posts. I have friends who share several posts a day from the pages they follow. Sometimes I wonder if they share everything they like. Where's the filter? I try to be more selective, which means some days I will not share anything.

Your friends are responding.

First, we all know that Facebook uses the term "friends" loosely. Researchers say that Facebook users have 155 friends - but would trust just four in a crisis. I like the people on my friends list or they wouldn't be on my friends list. But when Facebook says that my "friends" are responding, I take it as "your friends and/or casual acquaintances are responding."

Facebook friends should be seen more like a 'village' of casual acquaintances rather than a close network of allies.

If you crave social approval - and I'd be lying if I said I don't - it is easy to care too much whether people like your posts. Unless you're a reflexive sharer, you share something expecting to get a response from somebody - anybody. I've shared articles that have been completely ignored by my friends. Or maybe one or two click "like." It's enough to make you feel invisible. And so you delete the boring, unpopular post. Even though you didn't create it and it really wasn't boring to you.

A majority of the people on my friends list don't respond to my posts. Many of my friends are not as active on social media as I am; a few of my closest friends shun social media completely. I'm guessing many of the friends who don't respond to my posts don't respond to anyone's posts. That's okay. In person, especially in a group, I keep my mouth shut more often than not.

In person, friends have told me that they enjoy seeing the photos and articles I've shared. I have noticed that my most liked posts are the most personal and human. When I shared my grief at losing my mother and my brother-in-law. When I shared my joy at leaving the job I hated. When I celebrated 30 years of marriage by painting the bedroom. This tells me that I am not being ignored. That my little village of acquaintances is reading my posts even if they don't react to mushy Positive Outlooks posts.

Why do Facebook 'likes' have so much power over us? My self-worth is not based on getting likes or loves or laughs or wows. I've always been a lone wolf. I've always marched to the beat of a different drummer. I'm not even comfortable with a lot of attention. Yet Facebook encourages me to pursue "likes" as if I signed up for a popularity contest.

Martina Weiss is wise in explaining why you should stop caring about how many Facebook likes you get. It's more important to be real, to embrace your individuality.

Express who you really are, without being overwhelmed by the fear of rejection. Understand that you are worthy, just as you are, no matter what you share on your timeline and no matter how many likes it does or does not receive.

So Facebook, thanks for giving me 10 years of free social media. I'm even going to use you to share this blog post, knowing it will add another day to the stats you're tracking. But I've got to say, sometimes you are annoying!

And this is where I get to ignore Facebook. I don't care how many days in a row I've shared or how many likes I get.

I'm real. I'm me.

Time and chance happen to all

When you hit 40 or 50, people joke that you are over the hill. Unless I'm really, really tired, I don't feel my age and I don't think I look as old as my mother did at my age. But my perspective on life has changed. At 50, I realized that I am past, maybe well past, the half-way point. More people are younger than me than older than me. While I still feel young inside, I can't deny my age, even though I am more fit and healthy than many of my peers.

Last month I turned 54 and remembered how much I looked forward to my 50th birthday, amazed at how long I've lived. Five decades. A half century. The four years since that milestone flew by so quickly! When I started college at 18, four years was more than 20% of my life. Now, it's less than 8%. Before I know it, I'll be 60, God willing. As you get older time accelerates like a ball rolling down hill. 

I don't really enjoy running on a treadmill but I do it because it's good exercise. To make a treadmill run less boring, I select a virtual workout so I can run up a few hills and look at some scenery - Angels Landing, the Wave, the Black Hills. To keep myself going, I figure out what percentage of my run is complete - 10%, 25%, 50% and so on. It motivates me to see the fraction get bigger and bigger because I'm closer to the finish.

Sometimes life is like that but instead of wishing the miles away, we wish the days away. We spend the week days wishing it were the weekend. Or we count down the weeks until vacation.

Unlike a run on the treadmill, I can't figure out what percentage of my life is complete. It could be 50% or 70% or I could die tomorrow. In planning for my financial future, I have to expect to live into my 90's like my grandmother. But when my mother passed away at only 76, I saw how foolish it was to assume I would have her around for 20 more years.

Time and chance happen to us all. Que sera, sera. Whatever will be, will be. The future's not ours to see. Que sera, sera. 

This hit home for me last week. Hard. Greg, my brother-in-law of 37 years, passed away unexpectedly in his sleep at only 56. I think about the things he didn't get to do. Little things. He'll never drive the scenic route from Limon to Denver that he told me he'd like to take. He didn't get to visit the Konza Prairie with me.

I don't think my brother-in-law had a bucket list. He wasn't that kind of guy. His life was complete even if he never went bungee jumping or traveled around the world or tried sushi. He filled his jar with the big rocks of life - his wife and kids and grand kids. He helped out his neighbor. He took good care of his yard. He enjoyed being around people.

When King Solomon looked back on his life, he also became reflective. He saw how random life is, how futile certain pursuits are. "However many years anyone may live, let them enjoy them all. But let them remember the days of darkness, for there will be many."

The race is not to the swift
or the battle to the strong,
nor does food come to the wise
or wealth to the brilliant
or favor to the learned;
but time and chance happen to them all.

Moreover, no one knows when their hour will come. As fish are caught in a cruel net, or birds are taken in a snare, so people are trapped by evil times that fall unexpectedly upon them.

When the unexpected happened to my sister, she told me she prayed for the strength to get through one day at a time. That's all any of us can do. She'll go to work and spend time with her family.

One day at a time sweet Jesus  

That's all I'm asking from you.

Just give me the strength

To do everyday what I have to do.

Yesterday's gone sweet Jesus

And tomorrow may never be mine.

Lord help me today, show me the way 

One day at a time.

Reelin' in the years. Stowin' away the time. Life goes on and so do we.

On this side of the hill, I'm not in such a big-ass hurry. I've figured out that the race is not to the swift but to those who endure, to those who keep going on day after day - putting one foot in front of the other. 

Enjoy your years. Take the scenic route. Stop and smell the roses. Chat with a stranger. Don't worry so much about what people think. Eat, drink, and enjoy your work.