Unbroken: The Rest of the Story

Before I watched the movie based on Laura Hillenbrand's book Unbroken: A World War II Story of Survival, Resilience, and Redemption, I knew nothing about the book's hero, Louis Zamperini. Now I know that Zamperini was a promising athlete who competed in the 5,000 meters in the 1936 Olympics in Berlin, though his specialty was the mile. He was becoming so fast at the mile that many people thought he might be the first person to break the four-minute mile barrier. WWII ended those dreams. When the war broke out, Louie enlisted and served in the Army Air Corps. The movie skimmed over his training as an athlete and focused on his survival of two horrific events - a plane crash and imprisonment by the Japanese. 

A friend said I ought to read the book because the movie left out a lot about Louie's life. My friend was right. The book covers much more of Louie's incorrigible childhood, his reformation as a runner in high school and at USC, the horrific days he and two other men spent floating on a raft in the middle of the Pacific Ocean, and the two-plus years he suffered as a Japanese POW. The movie ended with the end of the war but the book covered the years after the war as Louie battled the demons that left his spirit broken.

A Survival Story

I have always loved stories about people who survived unbearable situations that test the limits of the human body and spirit. People who survive natural disasters, long periods without food or water, or being lost or trapped in an abusive situation demonstrate an ability to endure pain and suffering that should have defeated them but somehow did not. Survival reveals much about human strength and resilience, both mental and physical.

Louie survived grueling ordeals in the war that would have defeated a weaker person. In writing about Louie's troubled childhood, Hillenbrand shed some light on the characteristics that enabled him to be a survivor. He was a child who would not be constrained by rules or boundaries. Disobedience got him into trouble but he had to be cunning and resourceful to get himself out of it. 

Louie also proved to be a very driven young man, especially when he discovered that he was gifted at something. He threw himself into training for his races and the Olympics, setting goals for himself and exercising more self-discipline than he ever had before. He found the attention and self-esteem as an athlete that eluded him as a troublemaker.

In writing about Louie and the two men who were lost on the ocean with him, Hillenbrand noted that there is some quality that makes some people more skilled at surviving than others. One of the men was Louie's close friend Phil, the pilot of the downed plane (though he had let the copilot take over at the time of the crash). The other was a man Louie had not known long, a gunner nicknamed Mac. Phil and Louie survived 46 days. Mac only survived 33 days and even that was not due to his own resilience. 

Mac's immediate response to the crash was despair; he laid in his raft and wailed about how doomed they were. Louie and Phil, on the other hand, kept calm and made plans to stretch out the little food and water they had - several chocolate bars and tins of water. While Louie and Phil slept, Mac ate all the chocolate. This naturally made Louie angry, but he reined in his anger because no good could come from dwelling on what Mac had done.

Louie and Phil had both heard a story about a pilot and crew who survived on a raft for 24 days. Many of the men were driven insane by dehydration, hunger, and exposure to the elements. This convinced Louie that maintaining sanity was more important than sustenance. Louie and Phil made a point of exercising their minds every day by quizzing the others on a variety of subjects. They shared memories and talked about their dreams for the future. As Hillenbrand noted, "with their talks, they created something to live for." Louie and Phil were able to push fear aside and focus on survival.

On the raft, Louie, who had never been religious, began to pray out loud every day. When the men had been without water for six days, Louie prayed that if God would quench their thirst, he would dedicate his life to serving God. The next day, it rained.

Hillenbrand wrote about another experience on the raft that felt to Louie like a gift from God. When the raft drifted near the equator, the doldrums of the Pacific ocean, the stillness filled both Louie and Phil with a sense of wonder. It was beautiful and serene. The water looked solid and sound was clearer.

The raft finally reached land, which unfortunately was an island occupied by Japan. Louie spent the next two and half years as a POW. The Unbroken movie depicted some of the most atrocious acts committed by a Japanese sergeant, Mutsuhiro Watanabe, nicknamed "the Bird" by the prisoners. Perhaps because of Louie's fame as an athlete, the Bird had it in for Louie and constantly sought him out to punish and degrade him. The book described a beating with a belt buckle that left Louie's head bleeding. The Bird seemed to have a moment of compassion and then resumed beating Louie's head injury.

The book described other ways the prisoners suffered: starved nearly to death, deprived of nutrients required for life, forced into slave labor, and living in filthy conditions that led to disease. The Red Cross provided food for the prisoners but the Japanese kept the food for themselves.

When I think about the trials Louie endured, I can't help but contrast the pain and suffering caused by Mother Nature and the pain and suffering at the hands of man. Sometimes we think of nature as cruel but it does not break the human spirit in the way that man can. Nature can be harsh and inhospitable but it cannot compare to man's inhumanity to man. I also think about how interminably long those 46 days on the ocean must have seemed and how alone they must have felt on that vast ocean. But those weeks could not compare to the months spent as prisoners of war with even less hope for rescue.

About five years ago, a friend and I got lost while hiking with a larger group because we turned right at a junction when we should have gone straight. My friend Sam later gave me a book called Deep Survival: Who Lives, Who Dies, and Why by Laurence Gonzales. Gonzales examined why some people survive circumstances that would defeat others. He came up with a list of twelve behaviors* that survivors have in common.

Looking at those behaviors, I can see why Louie had the character to survive being lost on the sea and being imprisoned. He engaged his mind, he appreciated the beauty around him, he treasured his memories and continued to hope in the future. Louie did what he had to do to survive. He used the reins of reason to control the horse of emotion. However, contrary to the book's title, Louie was not unbroken. His body survived. But when a monster stripped away his sense of human dignity, independence, and self-worth, his spirit was broken.

A Redemption Story

When Louie came back home from the war, his sister had a surprise for him. She had managed to get a recording of him speaking as a POW on Tokyo Radio. The Japanese had invited Louie to record a message in his own words so his family would know he was alive. To Louie's family, hearing his voice on the radio was a gift. What they didn't know was that after Louie agreed to deliver this message, the Japanese asked him to read a prepared message. This one was a propaganda piece, intended to embarrass the US and make the soldiers lose faith in their country. Louie refused to read it. So when he heard the recording from the safety of home, he began screaming. He yelled at his sister to turn it off. It was one of the first indications that things were not right. 

Louie began to run again but he found no joy in it. He trained for the 1500 meters, even pushing through the pain in an ankle that was injured in the war. He damaged the ankle so badly, he had to end his running career and give up on his dream.

Louie fell in love with a woman named Cynthia and they married. There were financial problems; Louie tried to make money in one business or another but failed to find success. Louie was haunted by memories of his captivity. He thought about the Bird every day and had nightmares of being lashed with his belt every night. He had flashbacks. He clearly suffered from what we now call post-traumatic stress syndrome. "The Bird had taken his dignity and left him feeling humiliated, ashamed, and powerless..." Louie was still bound to the tyrant who tormented him.

Louie turned to alcohol to numb himself. He was full of rage, getting into fights and arguing with his wife. His behavior was both frightening and embarrassing. He became obsessed with thoughts of hunting down the Bird and killing him. After one night of drinking, he wandered around all night and had no memory of what he had done. One night, in the midst of a nightmare, Louie dreamed he was strangling the Bird and woke to find his hands around the neck of his pregnant wife.

Cynthia filed for divorce but the couple continued to live together. A neighbor invited them to see Billy Graham, who had come to Los Angeles for a three-week preaching campaign. Louie refused to go so Cynthia went without him. She came home and told Louie that she was not going to go through with the divorce. She said she had experienced a religious awakening.

Cynthia and the neighbor tried again to get Louie to see Graham preach. He refused again so Cynthia resorted to trickery. She told Louie that Graham discussed science, a favorite subject. Louie agreed to go. In Graham's message, he said that when you stand before God at judgment day, you will see every act of your life, every word and every thought, replayed before your eyes. Your thoughts, words, and deeds will condemn you. This angered Louie. He thought to himself, I'm a good man. But, he also recognized the lie in that thought. He knew the kind of man he had become. He left the gathering feeling angry and spooked.

Graham remained in LA for an extended period and Cynthia tried to talk Louie into seeing him again. After several hours of arguing, he relented. The next message was about why God is silent when people suffer. Graham said that God reaches out through miracles and by giving people the strength to get through their struggles. All that God asks for in return is faith. Louie became angry again and was prepared to flee. All of a sudden, he remembered a couple of things from his past. He remembered nearly drowning in the ocean, his body trapped in a tangle of wires, wires that mysteriously dropped away after he passed out. He remembered his prayer while on the raft dying of thirst; if you save me, I will serve you forever.

When Louie and Cynthia went home after seeing Graham the second time, Louie tossed out all of his liquor and cigarettes. For the first time in five years, he slept without dreaming about the Bird. He would never again be tormented by nightmares. He was no longer the broken, worthless man the Bird had tried to make him. Louie even came to feel compassion and forgiveness for the man who made his life a living hell.

I'm not sure why the movie ended with the end of the war, perhaps to appeal to a broader audience. The rest of the story was just as powerful - even more so to me. Because no matter how heroic and strong Louie appeared to be on the outside, on the inside he was a mess; he was broken. His life was falling apart. Then there was a miracle. God reached out and let Louie know that He had been with him all the time. God reached out to a man who felt humiliated and powerless and set him free.

# # # #

* What Survivors Do:

1. Pay attention to the details, then acknowledge and accept the reality of the situation.
2. Stay calm. Use fear and humor to focus.
3. Plan, organize, and exercise discipline.  Let the rational self take control.
4. Engage the mind. Play, sing, recite poetry, do math problems in your head. 
5. Take decisive action. Take risks and break down big jobs into manageable tasks.
6. Celebrate and find joy in successes, no matter how small. This provides hope.
7. Count your blessings. See the big picture and be grateful for life.
8. Open up the senses and take in information about the environment. Let the beauty around you relieve stress and motivate you.
9. Believe you will succeed. Be determined.
10. Give up the fear of dying because dying is inevitable. Put aside pain and focus.
11. Do what you have to do. Don't over- or underestimate your abilities.
12. Never give up or let anything break your spirit. See opportunity in adversity.

Embracing the Child Within

When I was a child, I imagined the career and family I would have one day as an adult. In my mind's eye, I saw a woman who is mature, confident, and self-assured, quite different and separate from my child self. It was a flat, one-dimensional self-portrait, the best I was capable of forming.

I was always somewhat of an old soul, but like everyone else, I walked through the official door to adulthood at eighteen. I spent my twenties learning the ropes of adulthood, enjoying my independence and the freedom to make my own choices. I sit in the driver's seat, I go off to work instead of school, I pay the bills, I make decisions only an adult can make. I have made mistakes and learned from them. And now, instead of imagining myself as a grown-up, I envision the kind of old lady I want to be one day, gentle and kind.

My soul has occupied an adult body for decades now but somewhere along the way I saw that I was not the completely different person I thought I would be as a grown-up. The little girl in me still lurks below the surface, beneath the wrinkles and the aching joints. I see her when I feel playful and silly. I see her when I long to shuck the trappings of adulthood and go back to a more innocent time. And I see her when I feel afraid and vulnerable. I may be all grown-up, but I still want someone to tell me that everything will be alright.

Why am I thinking about the child within me now? In part, it's because I see how vulnerable I am to being hurt by other people, just as I was as a child. In this age of social media, it is easy to attack people whose political and religious beliefs are not the same as your own. It is easy to publicly shame people. You don't even have to formulate a persuasive argument or use your own words, just click on share. In a moment, you can spread deadly poison with words and memes. So I tell this sensitive little girl,  you have permission to disconnect from negative people.

I'm also thinking about the child in me because I realize that I learned important life lessons as a child, lessons that are often the polar opposite of what I see in the real world. These lessons are timeless. Don't be selfish. Treat others the way you want to be treated. If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all.

The start of a new year also brings thoughts of childhood dreams not yet realized. I tell this little girl, there is still time to be what you want to be. But I also tell her that no one is going to make it happen but the adult me. You're in the driver's seat.

I start out this new year looking at an image of myself taken decades ago, a photo of a vulnerable child who instinctively knew to protect herself. I wrap my arms around this child and tell her everything will be alright. You are an overcomer. Embrace your sensitivity, your vulnerability, your strength and your good heart.