Why Doubt is a Good Thing
Many people are too wrapped up in their daily lives to think much about spiritual matters. Many of us don't know how to defend our faith when ridiculed or questioned by skeptics. We're afraid we'll sound stupid. Others are afraid to examine their faith. What if I find out something that stops me from believing?
Timothy Keller, in
The Reason for God, says "faith without some doubts is like a human body without any antibodies in it." If you don't question yourself about why you believe what you believe you will be unprepared to defend your faith. The criticism of Christianity from non-believers in my own family motivated me to prepare a defense of my faith on my blog. The process of examining my faith strengthened it and made me more determined to share it, much to the consternation of friends who wish this quiet person would shut up about faith.
My Perspective on Faith
I first believed in God and Jesus as a child, at an age when admittedly, people are more open to belief. My faith lifted me through childhood struggles with financial instability, the divorce of my parents, and a lack of self-esteem. As I became more self-confident as a young adult, I stopped going to church. I still believed in God but missed feeling his presence in my life. The shootings at Columbine High School were the catalyst that got me out of my spiritual complacency and onto a path of spiritual growth. Ironically, it was my agnostic husband who encouraged me to go back to church.
As an adult, my reasons for believing range from the scientific to spiritual, from an acceptance of proven, objective facts to an unshakable trust in my own intelligence, feelings, and perception. As an introvert, I am energized by thinking about deep issues like religion and the meaning of life. With a Sensing, Thinking and Judging temperament, I put more weight into facts and logic than feelings. I interpret the world based on what I see and experience and not so much on what I imagine might be. (I read the book
Heaven by Randy Alcorn but could not get into his speculation about the hereafter). And the Judging part of me always weighs the relative rightness and wrongness of everything.
It's Science
Though many non-believers think that Christians are anti-science, my logical mind loves both math and science (especially life sciences). The
creation story in Genesis is cause for doubt if you take the six days literally; I don't. I don't think the author of Genesis intended for it to be taken as a scientific description of creation. Yes, the book of Genesis credits God with creating the heavens and earth and all forms of life. But the key message I get from the creation story is not scientific but moral: man was created in God's image with the will to choose. And the close relationship man had with God in the beginning was broken because of disobedience.
The certainty I find in scientific laws appeals to my desire for order - the universal law of gravitation, Newton's laws of motion, the speed of light, the freezing point of water. I don't have to be smart enough to prove these things are true to trust or see that they are true and to understand that a world without these constants would be a world far more chaotic and less advanced scientifically than it is. I go about my life everyday not thinking about the forces that keep me from floating off into space or about the chemical reactions in my body that keep me living. Yet they are there, unknowable with my senses.
On a purely emotional level, I am in awe of the beauty of nature. I also appreciate the
beauty in numbers and the
beauty of numbers in nature. Can these patterns be an accident - the results of impersonal, random forces? I don't think so.
I find it interesting that the same people who ridicule Christianity as a pagan belief system believe a
modern day myth - Darwin's theory of evolution. How many years would it take to evolve from a single cell organism to a complex, intelligent, tool-using creature like modern man? How did the many species of mammals, amphibians, reptiles, plants, fish, etc. evolve separately in ways that benefit mankind?
I typed the question "How did species evolve in mutually beneficial ways?" on Google. This search took me to a book called T
he New Genesis: Theology and the Genetic Evolution (Ronald Cole-Turner) where I found this example of evolutionary theorizing:
Through this symbiotic interaction, both species in the relationship evolve. The human evolution occurs primarily as cultural evolution, while the genetic structure of the plants evolves. The edible plants benefited greatly by allowing themselves to be eaten, thereby inducing human beings to distribute and protect them. Human beings benefited by serving or cultivating the plants.
People who have faith in evolution make claims about how distinct life forms might have evolved given billions of years of genetic mutations.
In Debunking Evolution: Problems between the theory and reality, the author wrote, "Evolutionists are eternally optimistic. They believe that millions of beneficial mutations built every type of creature that ever existed." There is so much complexity and variety in the design of organisms that I can't take the leap of faith that macroevolution requires. Our culture so readily accepts the theory of natural selection that it is frequently used to explain behavior with no evidence. But people and animals behave in many ways that are not in their best interest for survival.
Reading about evidence of
fine-tuning of the universe for life, I am convinced that the precision required for life to exist is no accident. Even atheists admit that fine-tuning suggests intelligent design. Yet
atheist scientists want so much for there to be no god that they promote an alternate theory. Perhaps there are thousands of universes. Then there could potentially be more than one planet precisely calibrated to support life.
Consider also
DNA. How amazing it is that every cell of our bodies contains a script for life? I marvel that this intelligent language that I cannot see or sense inside me determines my physical appearance, susceptibility to disease, personality, and intelligence. It proves I'm me and no one else. How probable is it that this detailed code passed on and modified through the generations is the impersonal work of nature?
I think we all see evidence of God, but for a variety of reasons, people choose to ignore or deny God's existence. Reasons include pride - the desire to be your own god - and anger that life (God) isn't treating you the way you think it (He) should. "For since the creation of the world God's invisible qualities - his eternal power and divine nature - have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that people are without excuse." (Romans 1:20, NIV)
The Deep-Seated Desire for Meaning
I am not just a thinker; I am a spiritual being. I want life to have meaning and purpose. I want to know why I am here. Why are any of us here? Most of us will not leave a lasting legacy in our brief time on this planet. Why do we struggle so much for achievement or to make a difference in the world?
In believing in God, I find meaning and purpose. In God, I see a perfect, moral ideal in a world in which people behave destructively and selfishly. No one I know does good perfectly; not one. But most of us have this sense that there is an absolutely right way to behave - honestly and with integrity, treating others as you would want to be treated. (Unless we fail to uphold these ideals ourselves; then we make excuses).
The doubter in me has to admit that there is pain and suffering, injustice and evil. Why would a loving God allow that? Why doesn't God answer my prayers, especially when I am praying for the good of another person? My faith has taught me that I will not know the answers to all these questions in my lifetime. Instead I trust that God will make all things work together for the ultimate good of those who love him, just as he promised. It is in our weakest moments that God's power is made perfect.
In the mess of a world I live in, I find hope in the Messiah - the promised savior. To me there is credible evidence that Jesus was a real person who performed miraculous deeds and taught some really radical things. Forgive your enemies. Bless those who curse you. He also claimed to be God.
A man who was merely a man and said the sort of things Jesus said would not be a great moral teacher. He would either be a lunatic - on a level with the man who says he is a poached egg - or else he would be the Devil of Hell. You must make your choice. - CS Lewis
Non-believers often use the hypocrisy and self-righteousness of Christians as evidence against God. I understand the criticism because if a person claims to believe in Jesus there ought to be a change in behavior. But in blaming God for the fallibility of man, people miss the central point of Christianity - God's grace. We're all broken and fall short of perfect morality. It's just not humanly possible, even for believers.
I imagine life on this earth as a novel or play that goes on and on with so many seemingly unconnected plot lines, it's hard to see where the story is going. The author lets the characters write their own stories. He provides moral guidance but doesn't force them to do anything they don't want to do even if he knows the story won't end well. He sees the struggles and the suffering but rarely intervenes unless invited. But in an amazing twist, he interjected himself into the story in a very unexpected way, becoming a humble character. He walked among them, struggled just as they did, and sacrificed himself as a path to redemption.
I put much thought into explaining why my reasons for believing outweigh my reasons for doubt. Simply put, the complexity of the universe and all of creation staggers my limited human mind. There are so many hints of a supreme intelligence behind creation - things both seen and unseen. I find it inconceivable this handiwork could possibly be the result of impersonal, natural causes.
You can't have faith without risk. But I don't have faith because I gamble on the hereafter or because I've been given the key to all of life's mysteries. I have faith because my trust has been rewarded with the assurance of God's love and presence. Faith allows me to approach an omnipresent, omnipotent, omniscient God with confidence.
