Sunday, August 30, 2015

A Letter to My Beloved Sister


Dear Kansas, I know it's been a long time since you've heard from your little sis. Time flies when you're 139. But as you've probably heard, I'm pretty busy over here and a little worse for the wear and tear.

The last time I wrote to you, I was worried because some of your citizens were so upset about your portrayal in "The Wizard of Oz," I was afraid they might do something drastic to change your image. The last thing I wanted you to do was gussy yourself up so people would trample all over you and spoil your beauty like they have my own purple mountain majesties.


Here the tourist thing continues to make me feel like a scarlet state. Colored Red indeed. Social media has made things even worse. My glamour shots are posted everywhere and bloggers tell everyone to come ogle me and trample all over my curves. I've tried to tell the public that certain parts of me are fragile and need to be protected but they still act like I'm theirs for the taking. I'm losing the wild in my wilderness and it hasn't made me a happy camper. 

It still bugs me that people overlook you! I don't understand why they don't appreciate your spacious skies and amber waves of grain. How I envy the subtle beauty of your Tallgrass Prairies! Being flat-chested is not such a bad thing. You still have your purity. Like I told you years ago, you can't make yourself available to everyone and still keep your self respect.

Since I wrote to you last, you seem to have decided that if you can't beat them, join them! Good for you! Wamego is capitalizing on Frank Baum's fairy tale with an Oz Museum and OZtoberFest. How clever! And, oh how you have made me laugh with your offbeat landmarks! The world's largest ball of twine! I can't say I blame you for tempting a few people off the road with your country charms.


Sis, I'm so thankful that we've remained close even though we squabble about things once in awhile. We fought about water rights to "OurKansas" river for many years. And now some of your sheriffs have joined sisters Nebraska and Oklahoma (the reason you're so darn windy) in suing me for legalizing recreational marijuana. Do you remember that when you were declared the winner in our water fight, you complained that you didn't want money, you wanted water? Well, if you win this fight, do you want money or pot?

Kidding aside, I didn't intend for it to go this far. I just wanted to help people with medical issues. A real Rocky Mountain high can't be found in cannabis. It's in the serenity of a clear blue mountain lake or the quiet solitude of a pine forest. And now I know how you feel when people make fun of you. I have been the butt of lots of jokes. I've been publicly shamed by the governor of our much older sister, New Jersey, who tells everybody the quality of life in my state is really bad now. It's not as bad as he says, but still, this is not how I want to be known.

Nowadays, I'm trying really hard to figure out how to protect my kids. Which brings me to the real reason your adoring little sister is writing this time. I am also worried about your kids. From way over here, I hear your citizens complaining about your governor, about how his drastic tax cuts are hurting public education. I can talk for days about the importance of protecting natural resources but there is no greater resource than our kids! I hope you'll think about what's going to happen if you let ambitious politicians drive your public schools into the ground.

Sister, I will always remember that a part of me, my eastern parts, were once a part of you. I would love nothing more than sit with you and listen to the thunder or to sit quietly watching the fireflies. I don't have lightening bugs, you know.

I must close now and go put out a fire.

Your loving sister,

COLORADO


******

This letter was inspired by a man named Jack Kisling (1930-1998), a columnist who wrote for The Denver Post. Many years ago, I cut out a reprint of Kisling's June 25, 1978 "Here's Denver" column, titled "I wouldn't kid my sister." It was a wonderfully funny tribute to the state I grew up in. I recently found the clipping tucked away in a box, yellow with age. His sentiments are as true today as they were back then.

I can tell by the way my air feels that my looks are fading, and still they consider me the great beauty of the West and the waiting line grows longer instead of shorter. Where is it all going to end?

  

Saturday, August 15, 2015

Understanding the Introvert at Work

Are you sociable with your work colleagues or do you keep to yourself? Do you interact with a lot of people or just a few? Do you take breaks just to talk to people? Are you eager to answer the phone or do you let calls go to voicemail? Are you easy to approach or reserved? In conversation, do you say anything that comes to mind or do you have to think before speaking? Do you prefer to express your thoughts in conversation or writing?

These are the kinds of questions that get at whether you have a more introverted or extroverted personality. I am decidedly in the introverted camp. I will chat a bit with the people I see around the office but I rarely go out of my way to talk to others. I keep to myself and prefer to interact with colleagues by email. I answer the phone if I know the caller but will let a call go to voicemail if I don't recognize the number. I used to think maybe I should try to be different but the truth is, I am content to sit quietly at my desk and get down to business.

Communicating

Introverts are usually better listeners than speakers. We prefer conversing with one or two people at a time. We do not like to interrupt a speaker and get frustrated when others talk over us. In Conversing with Extroverts 101, the introverted blogger expressed her frustration with extroverts' fast paced conversations and habit of interrupting. In contrast, introverted conversation is like a jazz concert - each player waits his turn to solo.

I've read that extroverts speak to think but introverts think before we speak. Innies struggle to find the right words quickly so we often hesitate to speak for fear of sounding stupid. Marti Olsen Laney, Psy. D. (The Introvert Advantage), explains that for the introvert, information moves more slowly between the areas of the brain associated with language. We use long-term memory and must make the right word association from stored memories to select the right words. Being put on the spot can make us anxious because we need time to respond intelligently. According to Laney, the process of writing uses different pathways in the introverted brain so written words flow much more fluently.

Introverts often know more about a subject than we reveal to others and we may have to be specifically asked for our opinions and ideas. But saying "don't be shy" or "speak up" doesn't work with me. That's like saying "don't be the kind of person whose brain works like an introvert." Sorry, but I like my brain just the way it is!

For the introverted worker, office email is a double-edged sword. Yes, it is preferable for those of us who prefer writing to speaking; email allows us to compose our thoughts. But the benefits of email come at a cost - constant interruptions. Email is also distracting to me because I feel compelled to control the number of emails in my inbox for fear of not attending to one that requires a response. I also prefer instant messaging to talking, but sometimes one-on-one conversations get to the point more quickly than messaging. I also find instant messaging more intrusive than email because the expectation is that I must respond in an instant.

At my company, we have employees in multiple offices across the country. I frequently work on projects, which means there are a lot of conference calls. Meetings interrupt the work I'd rather be doing and in my opinion, often don't accomplish much. I can be easily distracted with thoughts of other things I'd rather be doing, or by other things I actually am doing while I am on the phone, or by background noise. Because I can't see who is speaking, I can't gauge the right time to chime in even if I wanted to. I also need time to digest information to decide what I think about it. Extroverts, on the other hand, are good at paying attention to many things at the same time.

Working Independently

In Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking, Susan Cain opened the chapter "When Collaboration Kills Creativity" with the story of Stephen Wozniak of Apple Computer. Although he spent hours each day in a cubicle, he was at his most energized and creative working alone early in the morning or after hours. I can relate. I get to work by 7 a.m. every day and treasure that first hour when there aren't many people around. I also have trouble making myself stop at the end of the day because I am so focused on what I'm doing.

While most of us do not have the creativity to invent a computer, introverts use their creative thinking and problem solving abilities most productively and contentedly if they can work alone, quietly. We enjoy working on complex problems and are good at work that requires attention to detail. But that kind of work also requires concentration which explains why we dislike distractions and interruptions so much. Our minds are energized while in deep thought so we prefer staying in our cubicles or offices to socializing.

Introverts also work well with little supervision. In my career, I have been the happiest when I have a boss who lets me work independently, behind the scenes, entrusting me with responsibilities that require a focused mind. I become miserably unhappy if I have a boss who micromanages me or does not give me enough space.

I am not opposed to collaborating with colleagues but it really depends on how it is done. On a current project, a colleague set up multiple meetings with me and another employee to slowly walk through a project requirements document he was responsible for drafting. This approach probably works for him because he thinks while talking. I find this collaborative approach really annoying because I can contribute much more while working alone.

Work Space Quality

Cain wrote about an interesting experiment called the Coding War Games, which was conducted to identify the characteristics of the best and worst programmers. "Top performers overwhelmingly worked for companies that gave their workers the most privacy, personal space, control over their physical environment, and freedom from interruption." The study showed that the quality of work space impacted worker productivity.

Cain also wrote about the trend towards open office plans, "in which no one has a room of his or her own, the only walls are the ones holding up the building, and senior executives operate from the center of the boundary-less floor along with everyone else." She said that the amount of space per employee has been shrinking and was about 200 square feet in 2010. Considering where I work, I thought that figure was high. Apparently, the office space allocated to conference rooms, lunch rooms, and other office areas is counted in the per employee average; work space cubicles are generally only 60 to 110 square feet per person.

My company planned at one time to redesign offices around the country to a more open layout but fortunately those plans were aborted after being implemented in one location. I breathed a huge sigh of relief because our current office space environment is challenging enough as it is. Here are my thoughts on the challenges of being an introverted cubicle dweller:

  1. Space limitations. Innies have a greater need for personal space than extroverts, both physically and mentally. In my office, the cubes are only about 50-60 square feet per person, which is a little too cozy to me. It is much less distracting to be in a bigger bubble.
  2. Visual distractions. I hate that "fish bowl" feeling that everyone is looking at me. I also don't like being distracted by seeing other people walk by all day. Cubicle walls should be high enough to prevent employees from seeing outside activity while seated. Ideally, there should be a privacy wall facing traffic areas.
  3. Auditory distractions. This is my greatest challenge. It is really distracting to have noisy neighbors in an office. The extroverted woman who sits on the other side of my wall speaks loudly. When she speaks on the phone she gets even louder, especially when she asserts her opinions. It is hard for me to concentrate when she is talking and hard to hear when I am on conference calls at the same time. Working in close proximity to others also makes you privy to personal phone calls and conversations that are distracting.
  4. Olfactory distractions. Recently an email was sent to the women in my area of the office to remind us that some people are sensitive to the smell of strong cologne. I wasn't the one who complained about the smell but I could have been. If I am within three or four feet of a person wearing too much perfume, my throat gets irritated. Many introverts are more sensitive to smells and sounds.

Admittedly, even extroverts are challenged by the space limitations and sensory distractions of the typical office. I enjoyed watching The Office but I don't know how anyone could get anything done if they worked in that kind of atmosphere.

De-stressing

In 10 Ways Introverts Interact Differently With The World, Alena Hall notes "an introvert is most obvious and vulnerable when he or she is in an over-stimulating environment." There is science behind our differences. The introverted brain is more sensitive to the neurotransmitter dopamine so introverts become over-stimulated and drained if they have too much of it. 

In Quiet, Cain wrote about Professor Little, an introvert who was such an effective public speaker that he was often invited to lecture. Afterwards, he needed to recharge so he would either go for a solitary stroll or hide inside a stall in the restroom! He called "the place you go when you want to return to your true self" a restorative niche. For me, my home is my charging station. I am fortunate to live close to my office so I am able to go home for lunch everyday. The break isn't long enough for me to completely unwind but is enough time for me to recharge my batteries so I can get through the second half of the day without feeling as stressed.

Dr. Laney says that in her experience, there are four aspects of the workplace that are stressful for introverts: deadlines, interruptions, difficulty in remembering names and faces, and feeling overwhelmed at work. For me the two big issues are interruptions and feeling overwhelmed.

I'm usually not worried about meeting deadlines because I plan out my work adequately. However, a couple of months ago I was given the kind of sudden deadline that I think of as a fire drill. I was tasked with doing something I had never done before with no training or documentation. The project had to be completed that day so I stayed late a few hours to get it done. I remember how overwhelmed and frustrated I felt. At times, I would stop and say to myself, I can't think! My brain felt fuzzy and incapable of performing its normal, thorough, thoughtful processes. And I made mistakes, which added to my stress level.

The past few months, I have struggled with feeling overwhelmed by all the changes in my job and I have not learned to calm myself effectively. When I feel overwhelmed, I just want to escape, to quit. Dr. Laney says that "feeling overwhelmed is part of being introverted." Don't beat yourself up about it. "Remember, it means that you take in lots of information and that your brain is very active."

********

Obviously, not all introverts work in a corporate office like I do. I would love to hear about the challenges that other introverts face at work. What are your coping strategies?