Non-obsessively Organized or Domestically Disordered?

My home is my sanctuary. It is where I go for rest and sustenance. It is where I relax and recharge my batteries. I have a strong sense of order and am happiest when my home is neat and tidy and everything is in its proper place. I can’t control my environment as perfectly as I would like so I am in a constant state of not being perfectly happy with my surroundings. There is always a bit too much clutter somewhere and things get messy as quickly as I can clean them up.

Why aren’t I as organized at home as I would like to be? Space is one issue. Too little space on my kitchen counters or my desktop means I don’t have enough room to work, not enough room to put things where they are most convenient and the least unsightly. Which is why, until recently, I was putting my portable grill on the dining room table when not in use.   

On the flip side, if you have too much space, you keep things around that you really don’t need. I have plenty of storage space in my basement so I save stuff I never use just in case I might want to use it someday. But someday, we want to downsize and will have to sort through all our stuff and get rid of the excess. It's enough to make me envy those who live in tight quarters, forced to live more simply.

Time is another issue that keeps me from being as neat and tidy as I’d like to be. It can take a good chunk of time to organize a closet or sort through a stack of papers and decide what to do with them. So I reserve my precious weekend time for my highest priorities, like cleaning the kitchen and bathrooms and resting up for another workweek. I let the other things go for another day.

Time and space are limited, but does that really keep me from being neat and organized? Or maybe the problem is that my husband keeps bringing stuff home and putting it on the kitchen counter or the dresser? Yet other people manage to keep their homes looking perfect and they also share their space with someone else – children and pets even.

No, my real issue is a lack of motivation. Sometimes, I just don’t want to deal with clutter or take the time to put something where it belongs. But leaving a pile of papers on my kitchen counter is a reminder that I have to do something in the future. Am I going to donate to the charities that send me requests? Am I going to use the restaurant coupons I saved? If I throw that thing away, will I want it later?

I read a column by Marni Jameson in the home section of my local paper. This week, she asked the question: What kind of clutterer are you? She quoted a hoarding expert who said, “our relationship with stuff can be put on a spectrum” that ranges from the ascetic or austerely simple to the serious hoarder. (At first I thought she meant aesthetic, being concerned with beauty). In the middle of the spectrum are other clutterers that Marni described rather colorfully: "the manic purger, the nefarious neat freak, the non-obsessively organized, the domestically disordered, the sloppy supersaver and the pre-hoarding pack rat."

An article by Cynthia Ewer on the Organized Home website, What's Your Clutter Personality, listed the following types and the kind of thoughts that define them: the Hoarder (This might come in handy some day!) the Deferrer (I’ll think about that tomorrow!), the Rebel (I don’t wanna and you can’t make me!), and the Perfectionist (Next week, I’ll organize everything—perfectly!).

So what kind of clutterer am I? Using Marni’s list, I would say that I’m non-obsessively organized but in danger of becoming too domestically disordered for my own peace of mind. I have learned not to obsess about being perfectly organized. My mother-in-law actually gave me permission to be a less than perfect housekeeper when she told me, you don’t have to vacuum every week! I’ve learned that, especially with a full time job, having time for rest and exercise is more important than having a spic and span house. I’ve learned that domestic tranquility is more important than domestic perfection. I’ve learned that if you keep your home fairly well organized and tidy, it doesn’t take that long to make it presentable for guests.

Using Cynthia’s definition of clutter personality types, I would say that I am both a deferrer and a bit of a hoarder. Her advice to deferrers is to keep in mind that “tomorrow has no more time or energy than today—and that putting off decisions drags down each new day with yesterday’s unfinished business.” She assures the hoarder that “stuff will be with us always” and challenges us to “dare to dump it!” She is right. I can’t ignore yesterday’s unfinished business. Inanimate objects don’t move themselves. And when I think about the things I’ve stored in my basement just in case I might want them someday, I realize that more often than not, someday never comes.

   

If you don’t mind being disorganized, it doesn’t matter! If you do mind like I do, then you have to move matter to a place that brings you peace of mind. That’s why I finally moved my portable grill to my bakers rack. To make room, I had to move cookbooks to the hall closet. Neither place was ideal but my eyes are happier and I haven’t been inconvenienced much.

I want the peace of mind that comes from knowing my surroundings are organized, not just on weekends when I tidy things up, but everyday. So I need to set boundaries for our stuff. That means, there should only be one room with papers that need to be dealt with – the home office – not the kitchen, not the dining room, not the bedrooms. I need to tackle the little out-of-place things bit by bit – if I’m going to another room, take along something that belongs there and put it away. And finally, if I don't have any real plans to use something, I should dare to dump it!

A Baby Boomer Visits Graceland

For years, my husband and I talked about visiting Memphis. We finally made the trip this month and in addition to visiting Beale Street, the Rock and Soul Museum, Stax Museum and the National Civil Rights Museum, we visited Graceland. I have to say that Graceland exceeded my expectations. I expected Elvis's home to be tacky but instead saw a home that reflected the style of the 1970's, the defining decade of my childhood. The upstairs bedrooms are not open to the public so perhaps that's where the tackiest decor is. 

My first surprise was that from the outside, the home was not nearly as grand as I expected a mansion to be. It probably seemed so at the time Elvis bought it, when he was only 22 years old. On the inside, the home is like a time capsule of the 1970's with wood cabinet TV's, a harvest gold refrigerator, and extensive use of gold accents, mirrors, stained glass, shag carpeting and vinyl.

My favorite room was the living room, which was decorated with white furniture and blue drapes that matched the ones in the dining room and at the top of the staircase. There were beautiful stained glass peacocks separating the living room from the music room. Even though gold is no longer popular, I still thought it was an elegant room. My sister told me that the kitchen is surprisingly tiny; she was right. Today, it's hard to imagine having such a small kitchen in an expensive home and even harder to believe that anyone ever thought it was a good idea to have carpeting in the kitchen!

They say Elvis had three TV's in his media room because he heard that President Johnson watched the three major networks at the same time. The wet bar at the end of the room was oh so 70's from the yellow counter top to the vinyl stools. We also saw his pool room, which was decorated with fabric on the walls and ceilings, a bit too much, in my opinion.

The one room that I found tacky was the "Jungle Room," though a friend told me she liked it. I took several pictures of it because it was dark and hard to photograph (flash cameras were not allowed). The furniture was intricately carved, heavy and uncomfortable looking. Though I can see why little Lisa Marie would have enjoyed cuddling up in the big round chair in the corner, next to the rock wall. 

Touring a home that is stuck in the 1970's made me feel a bit nostalgic for that decade. (It also made me feel a bit old). Though the styles look old fashioned now, it was a simpler time. Elvis had several TV's in his home, but most families only had one. We were not addicted to electronic gadgets as we are now; we actually talked to each other. On the other hand, with an iPad to guide me on the Graceland tour, I was able to go back in time 40 years and easily access additional media about Elvis - photos, videos and recordings.

Elvis's Trophy Room was an incredible display of his career achievements, with a long corridor lined with gold records and awards. There were also a couple of displays highlighting his generosity to the community. In 1970, the Jaycees named Elvis one of "Ten Outstanding Young Men" in the country. He treasured this recognition.

I enjoyed looking at the awards in the Trophy Room, but was especially drawn to an exhibit of Elvis's 1968 TV special. I was five years old at the time. I'm not sure if I remember watching the special or if I just think I remember it. While touring this room, we were told that Elvis had a seven year dry spell which led him to perform in Las Vegas for several years.

I also liked watching some of Elvis's movies, though they were not really all that good. He was just incredibly handsome. When I got home from Memphis, I looked up Elvis's movies to find out which one had Donna Douglas, "Ellie Mae" from the Beverly Hillbillies. I learned from a fan's Elvis Women website that while filming Frankie and Johnny, Douglas and Elvis used to talk a lot about religion, one of my favorite subjects.

Elvis's racquetball building is now used to exhibit additional memorabilia and some of the jumpsuits he wore while performing. I wasn't a great fan of Elvis during his Vegas years - he seemed to care too much about his star image. Admittedly, he was a talented performer. He successfully played up his sex appeal, even as he put on the pounds in the last few years of his life. But I have to wonder how much harm was done to his health when he performed in Vegas. Did Vegas kill Elvis, as a Daily Mail article suggests?

Last on the tour of the mansion was the "Meditation Garden" where Elvis is buried next to his parents, his stillborn twin brother and his grandmother. Elvis was at least somewhat religious and recorded some great gospel songs. I have a few on my iPod; my favorites are Swing Down Sweet Chariot and How Great Thou Art.  I like his gospels so much, I'm going to buy one of his albums.

I was fourteen when Elvis died and remember the speculation that prescription drug abuse contributed to his death at only 42 years of age. He was a gifted man, idolized by many, but he had feet of clay. It is sad that so many talented people engage in self-destructive behavior. Visiting Graceland reminded me of what I admired about Elvis - his music, his charm, his generosity, and the fact that he didn't try to be like someone else.