Innie Me: March 2013

Friday, March 29, 2013

Reflections on Blogging

About this time last year, I wrote in my journal that I was thinking about starting a blog. I purchased "Blogging for Dummies" to get myself started and spent a few months figuring out what I was going to write about before I published my first post.

One of my primary reasons for wanting to blog was my need for an outlet to express myself. I am a quiet, reserved person but I feel passionately about certain issues. Facebook is great for sharing pictures and little snippets of yourself but I don't find a whole lot of depth there. Although I enjoy reading my friends' status updates, Facebook is like a sitcom (with a lot of commercials) when sometimes I'd like to just sit down and watch a miniseries. It doesn't feel like the right venue for me to express my thoughts on things I care about like religion or politics. Sometimes I want to talk about hard issues and lay out my case logically and even emotionally, yet not get caught up in a fight with people who simply regurgitate what they've heard on Fox News without checking out the facts. (Sorry, but I can't help myself for this dig against one of the many fake news channels out there).

Another reason I wanted to write a blog is that for years I have had a yearning to write. I tried to do some creative writing several years ago but got stuck so I dropped it. I told myself that the imagination I had as a child was long gone because I've spent too many years doing left-brain analytical work. (By the way, the left-brain/right-brain theory is now considered a myth).

After writing several posts on political issues, my husband told me that no one would want to read my blog because it was too negative. So I thought about the things I enjoy like running and taking pictures of flowers when I trail run. I posted a bunch of my wildflower pictures on my blog and wrote a couple of posts about health and fitness. Just this week I decided that the approach of mixing negative political/social posts with positive flowery/health and fitness posts just doesn't fit me. It makes me feel like I have a split personality or like I'm putting my dirty laundry in with my clean clothes. So I moved several of my posts to this new blog, "Innie Me," where I will write about the good side of life from an introverted (and innie bellie button) point of view. I will still use my original blog, "The Dirty Cup," to write and vent about political or socioeconomic issues from my atypical "leftie" leaning Christian point of view.

What have I learned in eight months of blogging? I've learned to face my fears. Initially, I was afraid to share my posts with anyone I knew because I was so worried about offending anyone. I've learned that you can't trust the stats on Google's Blogger that show you how many people have viewed your blog. I've learned that some people promote their blogs and develop an audience by asking other bloggers to follow them. That's not my style. I've learned it is okay to have an audience of one. I've learned from my friend Tim that you no longer have to put two spaces after the end of a sentence as I was taught as a kid. I've learned that I like to write and that you're never to old to reinvent yourself.

Thank you to my big brother David, my intellectual mentor when I was a kid, who stayed up late with me to talk about real issues, the one who almost always reads and comments on my posts. Thanks to my husband for his support and as always, you can't stand behind my shoulder when I write or when I play Mahjong. It makes me nervous. Thanks to my niece Tisha, my nephew Adrian, and friends Cindy, Mary and Bill for reading my posts. There are more to come.

Oh, I've also learned that the right side of my brain still works.

Wednesday, March 27, 2013

Running Resolutions

I spent most of 2012 frustrated by a couple of running injuries that developed in 2011. In the spring of 2011, I ran my second half marathon and in the fall, I did a ten mile run. I ended up with a hamstring strain in my left leg and piriformis syndrome on my right side. This year I continued to run on the treadmill a couple of times a week and did the Cherry Creek Sneak 5 mile, BolderBoulder 10k, Red Rocks 5k, and a couple of other 5k "mud" runs. I also ran on trails once a week from May to September. Even though I wasn't running long distances, my pain persisted, though it wasn't debilitating. Once the piriformis pain started creeping up into my lower back though, I figured I ought to get more serious about rehab because I hope to continue running long-term.

My friend Bill recently recommended that I try ChiRunning. I had read reviews of the ChiRunning book by Danny Dreyer and had even attended a short class on this running approach at my athletic club. The main thing I remembered about the class was that we were told to lean forward when we run and to tilt the pelvis. I also read reviews about other books about running form but the reviews were mixed about what works and what doesn't. Last year, I ended up buying a book that I thought was pretty worthless. Since Bill said that ChiRunning helped him out, I decided to give it a shot. I am also going to read a book called Tread Lightly by Peter Larson and Bill Katovsky.

Notes on ChiRunning so far:

Chi is defined as the energy created by movement or life force energy
ChiRunning is based on the skill of "body sensing" or connecting the mind with the body
Unlike the ChiRunning mindset, the traditional power training mindset is results oriented - being driven by something outside yourself - like my 10k or half-marathon goals
The power running approach involves pushing yourself forward with your legs, working against gravity
ChiRunning "cooperates" with two forces - gravity and the force of the road
If you run with a heel strike, it acts as a brake; the ChiRunning method uses a mid-foot strike
Running injuries are caused by overtraining, training beyond your body's capabilities

My one disagreement with what I have read so far is that Dreyer says that strength training leads to injury. In his words, it requires "endless hours building and maintaining muscles, drinking protein shakes to feed those hungry muscles, and taking ibuprofen to relieve sore muscles." In my opinion, these are just excuses to avoid doing something you don't want to do. I try to strength train at least two or three times a week because there are many benefits of strength training. I don't have to eat extra protein and I rarely get sore.

I attribute my running injuries to overtraining, muscle imbalances and poor body mechanics. Part of it is the way I'm built. I have runners knee, an injury that affects many more women than men because we have wider hips, placing more stress on the knee. So I'm going to use a multi-pronged approach in my running resolutions - cutting back on running pace and distance, strengthening my core, hips, quads, and hamstrings, and improving my running form.

What Kind of Tree Would You Be?

In the Bible, a prophet was a person chosen by God to deliver a message to the people. A false prophet was anyone who falsely claimed to be a messenger of God.

Jesus warned about false prophets and said that we can recognize them by their fruit: a true prophet bears good fruit and a false prophet bears bad fruit.

Matthew 7:15-20 New International Version (NIV)

¹⁵“Watch out for false prophets. They come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly they are ferocious wolves. ¹⁶By their fruit you will recognize them. Do people pick grapes from thorn bushes, or figs from thistles? ¹⁷Likewise, every good tree bears good fruit, but a bad tree bears bad fruit. ¹⁸A good tree cannot bear bad fruit, and a bad tree cannot bear good fruit.¹⁹Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire. ²⁰Thus, by their fruit you will recognize them.

In the book of Galatians, chapter six, the apostle Paul listed several examples of the fruits of the Holy Spirit and the acts of our sinful natures.

Good Fruits of the Spirit	Acts of a Sinful Nature
Joy	Sexual immorality
Peace	Idolatry
Patience	Hatred
Kindness	Jealousy, envy
Goodness	Selfish ambition
Faithfulness	Debauchery
Gentleness	Discord, dissension
Self-control	Fits of rage

In this age of Twitter, Facebook and instant news, we are bombarded with messages from friends, family, the media, celebrities, political parties and special interest groups. Certainly, very few people in the world today claim to be prophets, but many people claim to be religious. Sadly, their actions do not display the good fruits of the spirit. I don't recognize them!

If you were a tree, what kind of tree would you be? I know what kind of tree I want to be - a good tree, one that bears good fruit, like one planted by streams of water.

Psalm 1:1-3 New International Version (NIV)

1 Blessed is the one who does not walk in step with the wicked or stand in the way that sinners take or sit in the company of mockers, 2 but whose delight is in the law of the Lord, and who meditates on his law day and night. 3 That person is like a tree planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither - whatever they do prospers.

This means I need to meditate on God's word and to think about all things good!

Mind Over Matter

My husband and I watched a couple of running documentaries recently that got me thinking about what running has meant to me.

The first film, The Runner, was about a 55–year old runner, David Horton, who ran the 2,700-mile Pacific Crest trail from Mexico to Canada in 67 days attempting to set a speed record, which he did. A few people ran with him on parts of the trail and a crew of people helped him by bringing food and water along the way. It seemed like the hardest part of the journey for Horton was crossing the snow in the high Sierras. He had to carry a backpack and walk across sun-pocked snow when he’s used to running light. He also had a frightening river crossing.

The second film was about another runner, Dean Karnazes: UltraMarathon Man: 50 Marathons - 50 States - 50 Days. Dean also had a support team with him, including his wife and kids for part of the 50 days. The most surprising thing to me was that in the film, Karnazes said that he is a very introverted person. Running can be the perfect activity for introverts; you can spend a lot of time with your own thoughts when you run. But Karnazes is a running celebrity whose picture is all over running magazines. He has a muscular body, unlike many endurance runners. With all the attention he gets, he doesn’t seem introverted.

Endurance athletes amaze me. Most people won’t ever run a marathon or ultra-marathon; sadly many Americans can hardly run around the block. Watching the documentaries didn’t inspire me to run further; it just reaffirmed my desire to keep up my running and keep setting fitness goals as I approach 50.

I first ran when I was in college, not very far, just a couple of miles at a time. I started entering 5K’s when I was in my late 30’s, I think. I remember having to walk towards the end because I was so tired. Eventually, I got to where I could run a 10K. I then started trail running in the summer and found I could go 7 or 8 miles. My husband also runs, though he runs faster and more effortlessly than me. He entered a half marathon and then did a couple of marathons. He wanted to try a marathon at sea level, so I decided to train for a half marathon myself. Running at sea level reduced our finish times quite a bit since we train at altitude. I went on to run another half marathon and a few 10-mile races.

I am not a fast runner but I can complete shorter distances like 5 and 10K’s at a respectable pace when compared to other race participants, around a 10-minute mile. It was tough on my ego to run my first 10-mile event and see how slow I was compared to the other runners. I have learned that interval training really works if you can fit it in. I’m faster than I used to be. But I've also learned there is no shame in finishing at the bottom of a group of 10-mile runners.

There aren’t many activities that provide better cardiovascular benefits than running. The downside of running is injuries. Last year, I trained for my second 10 mile running event wanting to beat my prior year time. By the time I was done with training, my left hamstring was strained and I had a pain in my rear on the right side. After months of taking it easier, neither of my injuries has completely healed. I’m still trying out different exercises to strengthen my hamstrings and supporting muscles and to stretch my piriformis muscle. For a while, I tried to work on my running form but it was just too much to think about.

I don’t get the runner’s high. What I get is fitness and the pride that comes from accomplishing something that I didn’t think I was capable of before I started training. Running really is 90% mental. Finishing a race inspires you to want to do it again, to prove that you still have what it takes.

This summer, my husband really wanted to try a mud run - a run that includes obstacles, including crawling through the mud. I was nervous about doing it. I thought, if there are monkey bars, I'm not going to be strong enough to do that. There were and I wasn't! But I overcame my fear of heights and climbed up and over a wall. You learn what you are capable of by taking one step at a time, setting your sights on a goal that isn’t too far out of reach.

Whom Shall I Fear?

I’m afraid of speed and that I’ll fall and break my neck so I don’t ski. I’m afraid of heights so I will never sky dive or go bungee jumping. That kind of fear is okay with me; I’m keeping myself physically safe. I'm comfortable with both feet on solid ground. I’m not missing out on anything that I really want to do because of that fear. But I have other fears that do hold me back.

Several years ago my koinonia did a short study of the John Ortberg book, If You Want to Walk on Water, You've Got to Get Out of the Boat. Matthew 14 tells he story of the disciples’ fear when they saw Jesus walking on the stormy Sea of Galilee. Peter said, “Lord, if it is you, tell me to come to you on the water.” So Jesus said, “Come.” Peter started out walking on the water but became afraid when he saw the wind and he began to sink. He cried out for Jesus to save him. Jesus caught Peter and said, “You of little faith, why did you doubt?”

I pulled out my notes from the study and found my answer to a question about what it is that keeps me in the boat: fear of rejection, ridicule, and attention (scrutiny). Obviously, I didn’t take any action to get over those fears or I wouldn’t be writing about them today.

Last night, I turned to the dictionary/concordance pages of my study Bible to find out what the Bible says about fear. There were many references to having fear of the Lord. To me that kind of fear means reverence and respect for God’s holiness and power. I’m good with that. There were numerous other references to the not so good kinds of fear that many of us have - fear of the unknown, fear of our fellow man and what he thinks of us.

David wrote (Psalm 27:1):

The Lord is my light and my salvation —  whom shall I fear?  The Lord is the stronghold of my life —  of whom shall I be afraid?

I learned the King James Version of another verse about fear when I was a teenager (Isaiah 41:10):

Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness.

When I reread this verse in the NIV version, I backed up a few verses for some context; the chapter is about how God chose Israel. In verse 9, it says: “I took you from the ends of the earth, from its farthest corners I called you. I said, ‘You are my servant’; I have chosen you and not rejected you.” Why is that verse significant to me today? Because I also belong to God – God has not rejected me.

As long as I keep my feet on the firm foundation I have in God's word, I can take comfort from these verses in Isaiah 51:7-8:

“Hear me, you who know what is right, you people who have taken my instruction to heart: Do not fear the reproach of mere mortals  or be terrified by their insults. For the moth will eat them up like a garment; the worm will devour them like wool. But my righteousness will last forever,  my salvation through all generations.

I know who goes before me. I know who stands behind. Whom Shall I Fear?

Spiritual Formation

One of my pastors recently preached a sermon on spiritual formation, the term my church uses to describe adult Sunday school classes. More broadly, it is the process of growing in faith, becoming more Christ-like, through the work of the Holy Spirit.

One of our young pastors presented an image of spiritual formation that depicts our awareness of God’s holiness as an upward sloping arrow and our awareness of our own sinfulness or self-centeredness as a downward sloping arrow. The image looked something like this picture:

As we become more aware of how great our God is and how much we need him, the redemptive power of the cross gets bigger and bigger.

The path that my own spiritual awareness has taken has not been so linear. For many years, I let my own selfish desires and the distractions of life crowd out God. Especially during times of crisis, I become more aware of my need for God and I pray much more.

Although my own spiritual formation has had its ups and downs, I believe my spiritual growth has picked up speed in the last few years. Why? One reason is that I have learned through the “refiners fire” that I can’t do it on my own. In mid-life, I’m also seeking wisdom and the deeper purpose of my life. I have also been positively influenced listening to Christian music; I find myself waking up with a song of praise in my heart.

I did a Google search on Spiritual Formation and found Dr Alex Tang’s website that lists Eighty Corollaries of Christian Spiritual Formation. I’ve listed several of these propositions below but highlighted the one that sums it up perfectly:

Christian spiritual formation is the will of God for the people of God
Christian spiritual formation is tuning into God’s grace
Christian spiritual formation slows us down to listen to God
Christian spiritual formation is praying unceasingly
Christian spiritual formation is the process of growing into the character of Christ (Christ-likeness)
Christian spiritual formation commences after justification but is not justification
Christian spiritual formation is intentional
Christian spiritual formation develops within the framework of the revelation of God through his word (Bible) as illuminated by the Holy Spirit in our hearts
Christian spiritual formation focuses on the centrality of the Gospel (Timothy Keller)
Christian spiritual formation is removing the idols that sit on the thrones of our beings
Christian spiritual formation is saying “no” to our egos by taking up the cross
Christian spiritual formation is saying “yes” to Jesus
Christian spiritual formation is living to serve others (servanthood)
Christian spiritual formation is the interaction of the overwhelming love of the Father, the sacrificial work of the Son on the Cross, the empowerment of the Holy Spirit, and the willingness of a person to be formed and transformed

Spiritual formation is a continuous process that starts with the recognition of our own sinfulness and need for redemption. Spiritual growth is God’s will for his people, but we must be willing to be transformed, we must be tuned into his grace. We must be willing to say no to our egos, and say yes to Christ.

Heel Striking

I'm not one to make New Year's resolutions because changes worth making are worth making anytime of the year. Having said that, I have resolved to begin a program of injury-free running and my resolution happens to coincide with the beginning of a new year!

I am about half-way through reading ChiRuning, the book by Danny and Katherine Dreyer. Danny Dreyer believes that "the primary cause of injury is poor running form and poor biomechanics." As someone who has worked out regularly for many years, I would agree. A couple of my injuries (hamstring and piriformis syndrome) began after I trained for my third or fourth 10-mile or half-marathon race. I was already fit when I began training and I followed a disciplined 10-12 week program of building up my weekly mileage, not increasing the total mileage by more than 10%. Yet I still ended up with injuries that proved to be difficult to heal!

Although form and biomechanics are important, I wonder how much running shoes contribute to running injuries. I am also reading Tread Lightly by Peter Larson and Bill Katovsky. The authors have studied the evolution of running, barefoot running, and the science and marketing of modern running shoes and suggest that our high-priced running shoes, designed to cushion the foot and control pronation, might do more harm than good. I buy my shoes online from Road Runner Sports; my husband prefers to buy his locally at the Boulder Running Company where they will help you find the "best shoe" based on whether you have high arches or pronate when you run.

ChiRunning encourages runners to take their time making changes to their running form even though some people have reported improved running performance in a few weeks. The Chi method is based on focusing your mind and sensing how your body is moving, "the thinking person's way to run." As an accountant, after thinking analytically all day, it is a challenge for me to focus on my posture, running cadence, etc. after work. I just want to turn on the iPod and let my mind wander. But I also enjoy the many benefits of running and want to continue running as long as possible. So if that means I have to focus an additional 30 minutes or so a day to learn some new tricks, so be it!

ChiRunning Focuses are categorized into six groups: 1) Posture 2) Lean 3) Lower Body 4) Pelvic Rotation 5) Upper Body and 6) Cadence, Stride Length, and Gears.

1) Posture: I have always known that my posture is not great. I can see from pictures that I tend to let my chin jut forward. I also know that I don't relax my shoulders, though I am not aware of the tension (my husband and the mammogram tech point that out). ChiRunning includes an exercise where you stand and look down to see if you can see your feet - I couldn't. When I relaxed my shoulders, I could.

2) Lean: If you lean your whole body forward from your ankles, then gravity will assist you in running. Challenge 1 for me is figuring out if I am leaning from my ankles or from my waist since I can't see myself run. Challenge 2 is figuring out how much to lean. The book describes your lean as "your gas pedal." If you lean more, you run faster. On the treadmill this week, I caught myself leaning too much and tripping a bit as I picked up speed.

3) Lower Body: With the ChiRunning method, your lower legs are supposed to be passive. They don't propel you; they support you. You just pick up your feet to catch the fall caused by leaning forward. The book outlines an exercise of picking up your heels and "peeling" your feet off the ground, like peeling a stamp off a roll. You are not supposed to lift your knees when you run because the author says that leads to a heel strike, which is essentially putting on the brakes. I practiced this exercise on my last hike. I know I need to pick up my feet more but the idea of not lifting the knees seems a little weird. I've watched elite runners and they seem to lift their knees.

4) Pelvic Rotation: I'm still trying to get my mind's eye around this concept. Your lower body is supposed to pivot from your "pivot point" which is vertebrae T12/L1 (yeah, that helps!). The book has a "pool running drill" where you imagine when you were a kid and the lifeguard at the local pool yelled at you to walk as you ran along the pool deck. So you walked fast instead. I can picture that but I can't yet visualize how to integrate that into running.

5) Upper Body: Unlike pelvic rotation, this form focus is pretty easy for me to visualize - bending the elbows, swinging my arms to the rear, not crossing my centerline with my hands, relaxing my hands, keeping your shoulders low and relaxed. I clearly have work to do in this area though. Not only do I lift my shoulders unconsciously, I also catch myself clenching my hands when I run.

6) Cadence, Stride Length, Gears: The author says that most people run with a cadence of between 80 and 83 strides per minute. Mine is at the lower end. The author recommends gradually increasing your cadence to 85-90 strides per minute, a shorter quicker stride that reduces your perceived effort. After measuring my cadence a few times, I can tell that I will struggle to increase my spm unless I purchase a metronome as Dreyer recommends.

Low Gear = slower speed, less lean, shorter stride

High Gear = higher speed, more lean, longer stride

This is a lot of stuff to think about when I run. It is going to take some time. I have slowed down and I am trying to take care of my injuries. I'm avoiding activities that might aggravate my injuries like sprinting or running up hill.

Running Form and Biomechanics:

Biomechanics of Foot Strikes

Running Form for Distance Runners

Realistically Facing our Obesity Challenge

The March issue of my Ladies Home Journal included an article called "A Country of People Who Never Stop Eating." The writer talked about the abundance of food in our country and noted that Americans eat an average of 570 calories more per day than the average person consumed in the 1970's. The two-page article discussed the "psychology of mindless eating" and the way we have learned to ignore what it means to be full.

I don't take issue with what the article said - the two points above are relevant to understanding our "obesity crisis." But I have a problem with the way the article was presented: with nearly two dozen pictures of slender women eating snacks - french fries, shakes, cake, burgers, hot dogs, ice cream cones, pretzels, etc. That's not what we look like as a country! Two out of three people are overweight and 33% of us are considered obese. So why not make your point real by showing real images of overweight Americans?

Another thought provoking story this week was Chris Christie's angry response to a former White House physician who said she would love to see the New Jersey governor run for President but that she is worried he might die in office because of his weight. Christie said his 12-year old son saw the remarks and asked "Dad, are you gonna die?" Christie mockingly questioned how someone 2,400 miles away could diagnose his health.

Christie may not like it, but lots of people, not just doctors from afar, are making judgments about his health every day because he is morbidly obese. We know that obesity puts a person at greater risk for health problems. I confess that when I see a morbidly obese person and observe how much more difficult it is for them to get around than me, I think "there's a heart attack waiting to happen."

According to Abigail Saguy, author of "What's Wrong With Fat?," anti-fat prejudice may be a greater threat to the health of the overweight than "any extra pounds they may be carrying." Saguy says that doctors profile heavy patients as "lazy, self-indulgent and noncompliant" so the overweight don't always get the health care they deserve. She also says that doctors are guilty of "size profiling," assuming that an overweight patient has or is at risk of developing a condition because of their weight. Saguy complains that public health campaigns and product ads often show headless images of "torsos with overflowing guts, intended to elicit disgust..."

I agree that it is painful or upsetting to have people judge you on the basis of your appearance. An older man at my athletic club has made many comments about my Red Face after he sees me running on the treadmill - "you look like you're going to have a stroke," for example. I know that I'm fit and healthy so I have learned to forgive his ignorance. I also agree that you should not assume too much about a person's health on the basis of weight alone. But doctors make educated assumptions about health risks based on scientific evidence; it would be malpractice to ignore obvious risk factors to avoid the emotional pain of "size profiling." And the news media and advertisers don't display real images of the overweight, not to elicit disgust, but because it is still taboo to show full face images of overweight people.

There is ample evidence that obesity is a national health-care crisis, a serious challenge that we should be facing based on facts, not just emotion. We are a country of people who eat too much - restaurant super-size meals come to mind - and we eat too much of the foods that taste good but are bad for you. For the sake of our health, with apologies to anyone hurt by this discussion, I hope that we will start eating mindfully and get up and move. For the sake of the 12-year old worrying about daddy's health, I hope that his papa faces his obesity challenge with willpower and honesty.

ABC's of Anger Management

I abruptly got up from the seat where I had been waiting for twenty minutes or so and left the hair salon without a word or a haircut. I let my anger out in the privacy of my car with a few choice words about the stupid stylists who made me wait. I tossed my handbag on the floor, spilling its contents. To really show how mad I was, I threw my sunglasses case on the floor and sped to the exit of the shopping center. At home, I vented to my husband "I am never going to that Great Clips again!" then kept the residual resentment to myself for the rest of the day.

My anger came with a feeling of shame. Shame that I am not more patient. Shame that my anger, even if it is justified in some way, can be so out of proportion to the offense. In this case, the offense was being told on arrival at the salon that it would be a 20 minute wait for a haircut with one man in front of me, then watching as another patron who arrived after me got her hair cut first. When the next available stylist called out the name of yet another customer who arrived after me, that sent me over the edge. At the same time, I was ashamed of being upset because the customers who were served before me were children, for goodness sake!

In my mind, I try to justify my anger - my time is valuable, after all. What am I, chopped liver! I have a lot of self-control; I'm usually patient and calm. For me, anger takes awhile to build, like a pot of water coming to a slow boil. My anger starts with feelings of frustration or annoyance that slowly build up to full blown anger.

Whether or not it appears to come out of nowhere, some event triggers anger, according to the article, Anger Cues and Control Strategies. Events that trigger anger include long waits, traffic congestion, having to clean up someone else's mess, being wrongly accused, etc.

As the title suggests, anger comes with cues - physical, behavioral, emotional and cognitive cues. I find the emotional cues helpful because the feelings and thoughts that come with anger point at what is really behind the anger. My wait at the salon made me angry because I felt disrespected. The stylists didn't take the time to say, "Ma'am, it's going to be another twenty or thirty minutes. Do you still want to wait?" That's what I thought they "should" do.

Emotional cues involve other feelings that may occur concurrently with our anger. For example, we may become angry when we feel abandoned, afraid, discounted, disrespected, guilty, humiliated, impatient, insecure, jealous, or rejected.

The article summarizes the anger control strategy based on the A-B-C-D Model developed by Albert Ellis and R.A. Harper.

A = Activating Situation or Event

B = Belief System - what you tell yourself about the situation (your self-talk)

C = Consequences - how you feel about the event based on your self-talk

D = Dispute - Are your beliefs and expectations unrealistic or irrational?

Ellis says that our beliefs or interpretations related to the angering event are what get us angry, not the event itself. Beliefs that cause us to get angry when triggering events happen tend to come in the form of "should" or "must" statements, like my belief that we should respect other people. Ellis' strategy for controlling anger consists of identifying irrational beliefs and disputing them with more rational or realistic perspectives.

Belief or Expectation	Dispute
I must always be in control.	There are some things I cannot control. Accept the things I cannot change.
You should like me and give me approval.	I cannot please everyone.
Other people should treat me fairly and with respect.	Life isn't always fair. People are disrespectful.

Now, I don't necessarily believe that my beliefs about the way people should behave are irrational, but my expectations are certainly unrealistic. Yes, people should follow the rules and do the right thing. It would be nice if life was fair and people always treated others with respect. It would be great if everything went my way all the time. But those expectations are not realistic.

Annoyances are a fact of life, I can't control every situation, I can't control what other people do, but I do have some control over how I react.

Originally posted on 3/9/2013

Mixed Wildflowers

Flower gardeners know that certain colors really complement each other so they plan their gardens accordingly. Nature randomly throws flowers together and they look just as beautiful. It doesn't hurt if there are mountains and a deep blue sky in the background.

The trails that I use for trail running in Jefferson County (Apex, Chimney Gulch, Lair of the Bear, Mount Falcon, Deer Creek) are pretty dry but I still get treated to a variety of flowers.